Press release: Russell recants on lavender

The press office of the Russell for President campaign has issued a clarification of Mary Doria Russell’s misstatement yesterday regarding lavender as her favorite color.

“Ms. Russell regrets any damage to marriage, religion and the nation that may have resulted because her statement was taken out of context,” according to the press release.

Her pro-lavender statement was said by several of her opponents to be part of a crypto-gay agenda because “Everyone knows what lavender really means.” As the Gingrich campaign pointed out, “Marriage is between one man and one woman at a time, although three women are okay as long as they’re in a row.”

“We all know that anything that even one REAL American finds personally distasteful is an existential threat to the United States of America and must be extirpated root and branch,” said the Russell campaign press secretary. “Ms. Russell meant to say that her favorite colors are pink and blue, separate and distinct, just the way God made them in the Bible.”

 

 

2 thoughts on “Press release: Russell recants on lavender”

  1. Clearly this was just a misunderstanding. Combine pink and blue and what do you get? Lavender! It’s obvious you were just trying to condense your original statement to avoid the boring excess verbiage indulged in by your opponents.

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