I’ve been in lock-down for the past three months: finishing the first complete draft of Unremembered Lives, doing the first five editing passes through the manuscript, sending it out for comments, re-editing, fixing errors, filling in, filling out, “linearizing” chapters that looped around in time and tense. Etc.
While that was going on, I didn’t check this website, and when I opened it up today, there was enough spam to denude the world of both pigs and rectangular aluminum cans.
You’d be amazed by how many young ladies (who assure me they are adults) would like to engage in remarkable feats of pornography for my benefit. Thousands. Really. Thousands. Veronica was very specific in exactly what she was prepared to let me do to her, and where, though I’m not sure how that could work online, even if I weren’t a 67-year-old lady.
On the other hand, Dominance Professor and Gag Princess would like to send me hardcore out-of-control shemale pictures or windy upskirt videos. Many people seem to think I could use help writing my college essays, which was humbling, I must say. (Beef Daddy offered his article on Greece Economic Crisis, which I’m sure would be very interesting and get an A.) Cheap flights from Mumbai sounded like a pretty good deal, too. And should I desire Cialis or Viagra, amateur pharmacists in Russia would be happy to take my order, and the medications will certainly not be capsules filled with chalk or pills made of compressed dryer lint.
They all seem quite friendly, so I’m sure they won’t download malicious software or steal my credit card number, if I take them up on these fabulous offers.
Jeez, Louise. Took two hours to clean all this out. Does ANYONE ever really click on this stuff? Would anyone, who is cognitively intact enough to have a website, read spam from a Russian site and say, “Hell, yeah! I could use some counterfeit Jimmy Choos! Where do I click?”
Anyway, what I wanted to tell you today is that my agent and I had a lovely phone call from the producers who’ve renewed the option on Doc and Epitaph. This project sounds a whole lot more solid than any of the three attempts to do a screen adaptation of The Sparrow, which remains in development hell over at AMC. I’m not allowed to say much more but soon as I get the word from the producers, I’ll fill you in. For now: so far, so good.